Friday, August 24, 2012

I love Our India

India-Travel Brochure.The land of mystical charm.A myraid of colors,effusuion of tastes ,culture as vivid as a palette of an oil painter. Some acronyms such as Athithi Devo Bhava , Sone ki chidiya and of course birthplace of yoga, vedas, tolerance and non-violence. Surrounded by the regal Himalayas up north and deep blue oceans on all other sides. Warm People .Warm Culture. Hot pot of liberal and traditional confluence merging into do your own thing. Tourist and investment haven. That is the picture we paint to ourselves everyday when we go to sleep.Thinking how much better we are off than a Saudi, China or Afghanistaan. As a true Indian we pretend to wake up "twice" a year on Independence day and Republic day,wear tricolour on white, forcibly listen to old and beaten to death patriotic songs of Hemant Kumar,Lata Mangeshkar,Mahendra Kapoor while saluting the national flag; So sadly out of place in todays India.Yet we grin and bear it.As PROUD INDIANS. Suddenly CLANG CLANG CLANG....the stupid alarm goes off and one falls off the bed ;tired and cussing. Running late for an appointment. Run into the bathroom -No water. Municipal corporation has decided water cut by 20%. Defecit rains you morons ,we are told..As one is venting out by screaming at the society bearers ,two politicians who dwell in the same complex flex their muscles. A quick "illegal" connection is made to the fire hydrant available on the road side.Water for today . Take that you BMC.I love my India. Rush to the roadside to be told no trains as the motormen have gone on strike. Taxis overcharging, buses groaning by a mini population explosion ,half people periliously hanging out.Fair chance of stepping on board let alone travelling in them. So one takes an "autorickshaw" sharing with two unknown others squirming uncomfortably at this thrust "companionship" of sorts.Spreading the true spirit of "bhaichara"(brotherhood) -Take that you enemies of the country.Look at the "closeness" which we dispaly. I love my India. At this point one realises on has to ply an "auto" on roads.... Instead one realises we just have paverblocks. Something which most countries overseas use as footpaths.(Which are used in India for encroachments or for ablutions,(footpaths not paverblocks you silly)).While one is periliously clutching and cringing inside the auto a loose paverblock flies from the road and hits the windsheild of the car beside. Obliging crack heard and two furious swarthy men offload themselves from the white car with a political party sticker.Swearing profusely they haul up the puny autorickshaw driver,who is bleating "meri galti nahin hain saab"(Not my fault).Suddenly appears a constable who takes the auto driver aside. Makes him pay a couple of notes,pockets a few ,hands over a few and we are back in business.Chugging towards destination.Auto driver cussing at his "misfortune" of having us as passengers .Insists that he recoups his losses from our pockets.Law of universe.Balance.Harmony.What goes , comes back to the auto driver.I love my India. Meeting time.One is hoping the day's travails have just been worth it. In walks an important looking Man. Wearing white and some kilos of gold. "Sir" we start.. His phone rings with the tune of "sexy sexy sexy tujhe log bolein"...with jing bang of jhankaar beats. "Hyellow" he barks.."Haan aapka kaam ho jayega . Maal bhijwa deana.(your work will be done.Send err , umm "maal")then turns to us and says. "Ai am bhusy. what you want?" ... We courageously begin "Sir, we want to request you to tackle the "hawker" nuisance"..we mutter sheepishly. "They are threatening us and also bmc officers that they will beat us up"... Suddenly he gets up and shouts "Yyou people want me to remove poor people who sell you cheap things from roads? Very good they beat you up. Because of you people India always will have poor people." we are scared. So we look contrite and ashamed but murmur, "Sir they pass comments on us,tease girls, have taken up our footpath.We are forced to walk on the roads with vehicles" He again shouts tell us to leave.We find that the next batch of people who are waiting to see the man are the very hawkers we have been complaining against.They have carried "mitayee" boxes. The Man walks out and hugs their leader. "Iss baar humko jyada chanda chahiye , baki sab mein dekh loonga"(This time we need more contributions from you to our party,rest I will manage)Looks at us and tell his PA, "Arrey yeh madamlog ko bahar tak surakshit pahuncha do"(Please escort these ladies out safely). The PA hands over his card a "Kuch chahiye to mujh se baat karo.Saab aaj thoda busy the.Agle hafte phone karke aa jao,pucca kuch karenge."(Call me first .Sir is busy.We can surely work something out)And all of us feel heartened.There is hope.I love my India. Go back home (trains have started after a "settlement was done"with motor men). Feel that thank god some things work.Or will work.Or "may" work.India its not bad at all. Bed beckons-I love my India.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Defunct Democracy and of cartoons


Once a blind man, a beggar and a dumb man were fighting with each other. The fight was on for a "bowl" the only of its kind. It did not have any magical powers, but it was very ancient.The blind man used to feeling things, used the bowl as his possession , like to feel it once a while and smile thinking it must be valuable."It has the allure; that's why the beggar and the dumb man are wanting it." He thought. The beggar whose necessity was the bowl, as he would not be able to beg felt it was his means of livelihood. If the bowl would be taken away from him , he would be rendered jobless and would not be able to "collect" things in it. "This is my identity , my work tool.I have to have this bowl.Without it I am useless.As long as I have it , I am happy" felt the beggar. The dumb man was quite at a loss. He could see the cracked ,worn out , jaded ,pithy state of the bowl .Perhaps this was caused by many blind men handling it over years .Once it must have been beautiful covered with precious stones, carvings et all. Now it looked sad. But he was voice less. The dumb man could also see that the beggar was treating it with great callousness, decimating it to a begging implement.It was getting banged as the beggar would seek attention by doing so.While the bowl would give all the alms the beggar wanted , he would bang it more and more to get more money. The dumb man wanted to take back the bowl and protect it from the blind man and the beggar and save the bowl. But he was voice less . And more so he was "dumb". So the fight continued... and the dumb became dumber pretending the bowl was with them and was in its pristine state. The world must indeed be blind to see yet not see the defunct ways of democracy.Nations world over have coalition governments thereby ensuring proper down fall of jurisprudence.Sovereign Democratic Socialist Republic of India is such a shining example of the "bowl".The blind world yet continues to "donate" to India,where corruption and politics have so completely ruined the state. Yet it feels the "consumer base" will salvage their blind belief of getting maximum in return out of the bowl by possessing,controlling it and manipulating it. Beggars err we have them in each state assembly and not to mention the central assembly hall in India.They are a nuisance, dirty, don't wish to work and wish to grab anything they can lay their hands, legs, arses on.They also transfer the bowl to their ilk , ensuring it gets more and more abused every single day by collecting money and leaking that money through the cracks in the bowl. The Dumb man? Oh that's you and me alright! Being dumb both ways. By keeping quiet and also allowing our mental faculties to erode to such an extent that we live in this delusion of democracy. Cartoons become insulting so much that the beggars tear down the basic ethos of the bowl which was "tolerance" and "non-violence".Then they call themselves "parliamentarians" because they have been voted by the "dumb".What they do will be extolled -What they do is be corrupt, pillage, purport goons and win elections. We are so dumb that we happily "elect" them to power hoping things will change. When some people challenge the beggars, they are labelled as insulting the "parliament" and "democracy" thrown to jail and condemned for being destroyers of the so called beautiful "bowl". And the dumb man is a spectator to this being so brainwashed that he feels the "poor beggar" needs his begging tool.Thats the price of being dumb.Defunct democracy...